Sunday, 16 February 2014

I thought i'm strong,but.. :(

Assalamualaikum..

Sebelum ni me ingat me kuat..me dah cukup redha..n dah cukup positif utk menghadapi dugaan TTC ni...tapi me silap! Setelah sekian lama me positifkan diri..tabahkan hati...tapi tadi me kalah,me tewas! tertumpah jugak air mata ni...teresak2! sorang2 kat ofissss... T_T


Semuanya bila my kwn2 satu batch masa kat U dlu borak2 dalam w.app group...me kat ofis sbb Ahad Johor kerja..n diorg cuti..so group hr ni agk aktif..kitorg tak ramai..12 org je..3 lelaki n 9 perempuan..i know that 4 of them are pregnant..memula borak ttg kerja..n lama-lama masuk hal family..n their pregnancy..actually memasing just tanya ttg due memasing je..tak la lebih2..n me try to be positive..just join their conversation..with the smiley icon..thumbs up n everything...utk tunjuk that i am ok with that..tp dalam hati...

"hati..tabahlah..hati...tabahlah...hati..tabahlah..."

Masa tu mmg dah sedih cket2..tp masih bjaya pujuk hati lagi..then me sambung wat keje ofis..after lunch hour me jenguk balik group...another 1 of them are pregnant too! make 5 of them are pregnant! let me name her as Ani (bukan nama sebenar)..she is one of my close friend masa kat U until kerja kat Shah Alam..masa kat U selalu satu grup dgn dia..duk hostel sama level..n selalu ke mana-mana bersama..we meet our Mr Right dlm ms yg sama..then waktu keje kat Shah Alam, kami duduk satu rumah n keje company yg sama walaupun branch lain..she engaged 1st..then baru me..tp me married 1st..4 months after I married..baru dia married..n she told me that she want a baby right after married..unfortunately it doesnt happen..sebulan, 2 bulan..3 bulan takde..dia dah mula sedih2 bagai..n masa tu kami share cket2 about TTC..n after about 6 months she was pregnant...and I cried on that time..me betul2 jeles masa tu..tp lama2 ok..

Now,she is pregnant her 2nd baby...and...I am crying again!!!!!

Actually bukan salah dia pun..she didnt show off pun her pregnancy...tapi......hurm...me kalah! me rasa keseorangan sgt2...9 of my girl friend on that group..5 of them are pregnant..2 of them are on 2nd pregnancy..and all kawen lg lmbt dr me..1 still single..1 are going to married soon..n me n another 1 of gf are TTCian..me n the another TTCian fren are the 1st among them yg married..just selang satu hari je..tp kami sama2 TTC..March nanti dia akan proceed with IUI..please pray for her..

Fortunately..all of them pandai jaga hati kami..mereka mendoakan rezeki kami..n langsung takde post apa2 about their pregnancy kat FB..cuma me je yg kalah dgn perasaan sndr..bila bgtau Encik Abah..he just said

"Alhamdulillah..rezeki dia..insyaAllah nanti ada...Allah bg satu2 dlu...skrg ni kan Allah tgh bagi rezeki rumah kat kita..nt ada la tu"

InsyaAllah..
sorry, i thought i am strong,but..i am wrong!
Dari hati at
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14 comments:

  1. Yasmin16 February 2014 at 20:15

    ;( sabar ea dear...

    ReplyDelete
  2. puanstoberi17 February 2014 at 07:59

    Memang begini lah keadaan kita.. tabah ya dik.. akak yg dah TTC lebih 5 tahun ni pun begitu lah rasanya. apatah lagi bila berdepan dengan kawan yang sebaya yg dah pun menghantar anak ke sekolah.
    Apa pun, tabah ya. Allah duga kita sbb dia tahu kuat. Sesekali mmg boleh bersedih, tp jangan selalu. Sbb rezeki yang Allah bagi kita bukan rezeki anak je.. byk lagi rezeki Allah dah turunkan utk kita, yg orang lain plak tak dpt.
    Senyum selalu oke :)

    p/s : Blog akak 'dunia puanstoberi' da tukar url - jadi 'puanstoberi.blogspot'. Kalau rajin jengah2 la :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Unknown17 February 2014 at 09:54

      Ya Allah..ujian perasaan utk akak lebih berat..malu saya kalah dgn ujian kecil ni :(
      Ye kak..semoga kita sama2 tabah..

      p/s: patut la jenguk smlm permission denied..ok,nt sy melawat..tq :)

      Delete
  3. Nurul Asma'17 February 2014 at 08:59

    MayAllah give you strenght sis. Just the same feelings here too..kdg2 nk je doa jgn la kwn tu pregnnt..jht x? Nauzubillah..tp cpt2 istighfar sbb semua tu rezeki Allah..kdg2 nikmat yg kita nmpk pd org, mungkin satu ujian pd die..

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Unknown17 February 2014 at 10:03

      thanks Asma'..kdg2 hati kita mmg jahat..huhu..tapi sesekali terlintas tu kena cepat2 istighfar...syaitan semua tu..huhu..

      Delete
    2. Nurul Asma'19 February 2014 at 08:50

      kak boleh mintak emel? ade nk tnye sikit :) ni emel saya: nuraz_29@yahoo.com

      Delete
  4. eilah17 February 2014 at 08:59

    Assalamualaikum
    Sy pon kalah.tak tau knapa kdg2 sukar sgt .
    Padahal slalu tanamkan dalam diri rezeki dr Allah.

    Bln ni cycle ke 4.if bln dpn xconceive jgk.dr isa suggest buat iui.bertambah pilu ase.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Unknown17 February 2014 at 10:04

      wsalam eilah...
      awk jumpa doc isa ye? me dah lama tak jumpa dia..dah 5 bulan kot..huhu..

      Delete
    2. eilah17 February 2014 at 10:58

      Aah sy jupe doc isa.

      Delete
  5. sweet tooth17 February 2014 at 23:08

    Me, it would take some time to build the strength...it is not an overnight process.And being strong does not mean tak nangis langsung. Actually dgn menangis la kita bleh be more stronger coz rasa sedih tu diluahkan. Cuma jgn dwell on kesedihan tu... I yg dah 9 years ni pon nangis gak me, kadang2 tu... we are human. If sedih, nangis, doa pada Allah smg diberikan kekuatan nxt time kita mengalami perasaan sebegitu... Take care dik :-)

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    1. Unknown18 February 2014 at 10:33

      thanks sgt2 kak..semoga me dipinjamkan ketabahan mcm akak..
      hm..itulah...me dah lama tak nangis mcm ni..cuma kali ni kalah..tp alhamdulillah..skrg dah okay!hehe

      Delete
  6. su19 February 2014 at 11:16

    Umi, yup akan ada masa2 yang kita kan down, kalau sue , kalau dpt news camni, tambah2 lagi org terdekat sue sumtimes akan down smpai nangis.. bila dh nangis byk2, rase lega dh lpas tu..but cuba sedikit demi sedikit bina keyakinan diri.. :)

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    1. Unknown19 February 2014 at 12:24

      aah sue..lepas nangis mmg akan ok je..yelah..kita manusia ada perasaan kan,,,kalo robot tu leh gak set kan bdn dia xleh nangis..hihi

      Delete

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