Assalamualaikum..
Sebelum ni me ingat me kuat..me dah cukup redha..n dah cukup positif utk menghadapi dugaan TTC ni...tapi me silap! Setelah sekian lama me positifkan diri..tabahkan hati...tapi tadi me kalah,me tewas! tertumpah jugak air mata ni...teresak2! sorang2 kat ofissss... T_T
Semuanya bila my kwn2 satu batch masa kat U dlu borak2 dalam w.app group...me kat ofis sbb Ahad Johor kerja..n diorg cuti..so group hr ni agk aktif..kitorg tak ramai..12 org je..3 lelaki n 9 perempuan..i know that 4 of them are pregnant..memula borak ttg kerja..n lama-lama masuk hal family..n their pregnancy..actually memasing just tanya ttg due memasing je..tak la lebih2..n me try to be positive..just join their conversation..with the smiley icon..thumbs up n everything...utk tunjuk that i am ok with that..tp dalam hati...
"hati..tabahlah..hati...tabahlah...hati..tabahlah..."
Masa tu mmg dah sedih cket2..tp masih bjaya pujuk hati lagi..then me sambung wat keje ofis..after lunch hour me jenguk balik group...another 1 of them are pregnant too! make 5 of them are pregnant! let me name her as Ani (bukan nama sebenar)..she is one of my close friend masa kat U until kerja kat Shah Alam..masa kat U selalu satu grup dgn dia..duk hostel sama level..n selalu ke mana-mana bersama..we meet our Mr Right dlm ms yg sama..then waktu keje kat Shah Alam, kami duduk satu rumah n keje company yg sama walaupun branch lain..she engaged 1st..then baru me..tp me married 1st..4 months after I married..baru dia married..n she told me that she want a baby right after married..unfortunately it doesnt happen..sebulan, 2 bulan..3 bulan takde..dia dah mula sedih2 bagai..n masa tu kami share cket2 about TTC..n after about 6 months she was pregnant...and I cried on that time..me betul2 jeles masa tu..tp lama2 ok..
Now,she is pregnant her 2nd baby...and...I am crying again!!!!!
Actually bukan salah dia pun..she didnt show off pun her pregnancy...tapi......hurm...me kalah! me rasa keseorangan sgt2...9 of my girl friend on that group..5 of them are pregnant..2 of them are on 2nd pregnancy..and all kawen lg lmbt dr me..1 still single..1 are going to married soon..n me n another 1 of gf are TTCian..me n the another TTCian fren are the 1st among them yg married..just selang satu hari je..tp kami sama2 TTC..March nanti dia akan proceed with IUI..please pray for her..
Fortunately..all of them pandai jaga hati kami..mereka mendoakan rezeki kami..n langsung takde post apa2 about their pregnancy kat FB..cuma me je yg kalah dgn perasaan sndr..bila bgtau Encik Abah..he just said
"Alhamdulillah..rezeki dia..insyaAllah nanti ada...Allah bg satu2 dlu...skrg ni kan Allah tgh bagi rezeki rumah kat kita..nt ada la tu"
InsyaAllah..
sorry, i thought i am strong,but..i am wrong!